I thought I was watching the return of Master of Champions last night. That was the ABC flop faturing unwatchable stunts judged by non-judges.

Fox debuted a sort of So You Think You Can Sing, with "stars," and never have quotation marks been quite as necessary as in the preceding, teaming with pros on sometimes-painful duets.

Like Master of Champions, the judges lacked chemistry, to put it mild, as they used to say, with Little Richard appearing to be out of his element (unlike the great GEICO commercials he has done lately), and Marie Osmond doing a pale Paula imitation. I can't remember who the third judge was, but at least he didn't have an English accent and an attitude.

The "singing" and never, at least since the second paragraph, have quotation marks been quite as necessary, was uneven at best, and painful at worst. Particularly a gold medal winning gymnast who, if I ever did know her, I have forgotten.

I didn't watch all of it--I am not a masochist--just enough to tell me that this reality competition cow may have been milked dry.